Two Satires

By Andrew Thornton-Norris - London, United Kingdom - Pentecost/Assumption 2011


Ars Amatoria

It took a long, long time for me to find
Much out about the fairer sex. My dad
Knew little more than I, and wasn't there
Much anyway. The hurt and pain of that

Propelled me on to find out all there was
To know. I learnt as much as possible
From sisters and my mother, but that left
A lot to be desired, so I learnt

From those who knew the ropes and strings to pull.
And now I take whatever, whenever I want,
I prowl around this city like the Lion,
The King of the Jungle, top of the food chain now.


What could a consecrated celibate
Tell me about the sexual life of men?
A virgin, latest in a line of them,
Propounding teachings of a sinless man.

Today we all live in a market-place,
A de-sanctified society,
Where men and women are returned to
The state of nature. So I'd rather hear

From the biologist, who tells me I
Am too a sinless man, driven by
My genes, but able to rise above
Them, so to love my fellow men, and girl.